Giving myself an A — the letter to myself (2021)
Dear Jakub from the past,
Today is December 31st 2021 and I must admit that I have been feeling grateful, optimistic, kind and at ease. It has not been a year of a big transformation bur rather small evolutions in many areas.
The death of my Dad in January was very painful. Nevertheless, it created the much-needed space for reflection, compassion, and kindness for myself and for others. My Dad made a huge impact on the people around him and I decided that I wanted to make an impact myself.
And the easiest way to make an impact is by doing it with like-minded people. Therefore, I made the hard decision to change how I approach the community building for agile coaches. It was a scary and difficult change, I had to say no to a lot of things, but it was worth it — the community, even though smaller, has become much more active, supportive and has influenced positive changes in New Zealand companies.
Agile Coaching Lab kept going well, hosting new cohorts and giving people the space they need for their growth and discovery of agile coaching skills. And the feedback from the participants has been spectacular!
At work, I have kept re-discovering my leadership skills. I have based my leadership on transparency, feedback, coaching and engagement. Together with the coaches, we made a significant contribution to the company’s goals. We also developed our skills, making our organisation more engaged, more lean and agile. We specifically focused on the coaching skills that created the space for reflection and ownership for individuals and our teams. We could see all of them growing and taking the responsibility for improvements.
And do you remember how I have been thinking about writing a book for over 2 years? Well, it finally happened! Early in the year, I chose the topic and I throughout the year I have invested the time to write it. It is an amazing feeling to see it available on Amazon. And the positive feedback has given me the confidence that it was time well spent. I also cannot forget all the learning that came from it — it was a brilliant decision!
The Joekub podcast has kept growing this year. We found new topics, new guests and we had so much fun! We also created our first thing, published it and it was a great success! I need to remember to say thank you to Joe when I meet him next time.
In 2021, I have found the energy to grow the user base of my mobile app — WineUni. I’ve managed to invest some time every week for marketing activities. I’ve also managed to release a new version of the app and this helped me keep my coding skills fresh and brought a lot of value to the users.
I also managed to keep exploring new habits — yoga, meditation, reading, regular walks, cold showers, less sugar and more gratitude, gave me the energy and relaxation I needed so much this year. I also kept cycling and I was finally able to make the trip to Coromandel on my bike — that was a super fun 200 kilometres.
With all of this happening, I am glad to say that I have been able to make my love to my wife flourish and my friendships have deepened.
I am proud of all the things that I have tried in 2021, even if not all of them worked as I wanted them to work. I learned something from all of them.
I was able to find much more joy in difficulties and I remembered that all of this was just a game and I could make up my own rules.
Sincerely,
Jakub Jurkiewicz (from December 2021)
Dear Reader, You may be wondering what this is about? I got inspired by the work of Benjamin Zander and Rosamund Stone Zander and their “Giving an A” principle from the “Art of Possibility” book:
An A can be given to anyone in any walk of life — to a waitress, to your employer, to your mother-in-law, to the members of the opposite team, and to the other drivers in traffic. When you give an A, you find yourself speaking to people not from a place of measuring how they stack up against your standards, but from a place of respect that gives them room to realize themselves. Your eye is on the statue within the roughness of the uncut stone.
This A is not an expectation to live up to, but a possibility to live into.
I started this practice of giving myself an A last year. It worked well for me so I decided to do the same for 2021.
In their book, Benjamin Zander, who is a teacher of music, continues with the idea of writing a letter to yourself:
What would happen if one were to hand an A to every student from the start?
Roz and I predicted that abolishing grades altogether would only make matters worse, even if the Conservatory could be persuaded to support such a plan. The students would feel cheated of the opportunity for stardom and would still be focused on their place in the lineup. So we came up with the idea of giving them all the only grade that would put them at ease, not as a measurement tool, but as an instrument to open them up to possibility.
“Each student in this class will get an A for the course,” I announce. “However, there is one requirement that you must fulfill to earn this grade: Sometime during the next two weeks, you must write me a letter dated next May, which begins with the words, ‘Dear Mr. Zander, I got my A because …,’ and in this letter you are to tell, in as much detail as you can, the story of what will have happened to you by next May that is in line with this extraordinary grade.”
So that’s what I have done for myslelf. I’ve already added a reminder to re-look at this letter in 90 days to get a reminder about a person I want to be and things I want to achieve in 2021.
Have a great year everyone! You are awesome! 🎉
